David Bowie Was A New Yorker


David Bowie never waited for the light to change before crossing.
David Bowie could finish the Friday crossword.
David Bowie wouldn’t lean on the pole during rush hour.
David Bowie ate a slice folded, walking uptown, without getting any of it on him.
David Bowie knew you never asked the cab driver if they would take you to Brooklyn, you got in and gave them the address.
David Bowie could play the Law & Order drinking game about his neighborhood.
David Bowie bitched about Time Warner.
David Bowie watched In The Papers.
David Bowie called it Sixth Avenue, called it the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel, and it as far as he was concerned, it was always going to be the 59th Street Bridge, no matter what meshuganah name it was given.
David Bowie sighed and moved to the end of the car when he heard, “It’s showtime!”
David Bowie knew that blueberry is not an acceptable bagel flavor.
David Bowie walked on the other side of the sidewalk when the dude with the clipboard asked him if he cared about the environment.
David Bowie took his coffee regular.
David Bowie always stopped and gave directions to lost tourists. (Except when they asked how to get to Ground Zero.)
David Bowie waited on line, not in line.
David Bowie exited the bus through the rear.
David Bowie knew that Battery Park City is not Tribeca, even if it shares a zip code.
David Bowie believed that Pizza Rat was real.