I *never* in my life thought I would see THIS:
You purchased 2 tickets to:
UNDERGROUND GARAGE FESTIVAL:IGGY POP & THE STOOGES,THE NEW YORK DOLLS
Randalls Island, New York, NY
Saturday August 14, 2004 11:30 am
I've read some cantankerous bitching and moaning about reunion overkill recently. To be honest, I was getting a little worn out by reunions around the time the Pixies got back together. I didn't fight all that hard to get tickets to the closest Pixies show precisely because I wasn't too sure I wanted to 1) relive something that wasn't all that long ago (can it truly be nostalgia if I can still vividly remember it?) or 2) witness it if it was less than glorious.
So when I heard about Morrissey putting The Dolls back together - I will confess that I was, and am, a little dubious about this. JT is gone forever, and I guess I just don't know how it's the Dolls without him, you know? I read all the reviews (believe me, I read *all* the reviews) and I know that it's supposed to be just short of the Second Coming.
But here's my question: what if it *wasn't*? Would anyone actually say such a thing? The fans break into two categories. Number one, anyone who actually was there back in the day. The two dozen people who actually were at the Mercer Arts Center in 1975 have to say say that the new reconstituted version is amazing or risk being labelled old and cantankerous (nothing worse than a music fan walking around insisting that the Who without Keith Moon aren't the Who, or how if you didn't see Springsteen in 1975 you have no right to call yourself a fan).
The rest of us are people like me, who never thought they'd own a concert ticket that read NEW YORK DOLLS. The first Dolls album was the first album I snuck in the house (sliding it behind the washing machine with a surprisingly adept arm stretch, given I'd never done such a thing before) because I didn't want to have to explain to my mother why they were wearing makeup and women's clothing (not that I fully understood the concept of drag at age 14 either, truth be told). It was one thing to like the Ramones or the Clash or Patti Smith or Television, but the real test was if you liked the Dolls (and the MC5 and the Stooges, of course).
Would any of us admit the truth if they weren't great? I guess I won't find out until I am standing there in the mud watching them onstage. All I do know is that if I was not going to be back home in time for this show, I would have been gotten there by any means necessary.
Why? Because the shimmering possibility of catching a glimmer of the past, of youth, of lost magic, is far too enticing to abandon.
The closest I have come to seeing the Dolls was at one of those Thunders multi-night stands, this one Irving Plaza in 1983 or 84, when David Jo and Sylvain showed up. I still have the photo of the three of them onstage together, one of those moments that I didn't want to tear my eyes away from the stage to photograph but also absolutely needed to document as well: "I really *was* there!"
So I am going to Randall's fucking Island. I even organized a small ticket brigade this morning to guarantee that I had a ticket (I didn't see it selling out in three minutes but I also wasn't about to take any chances for this show). And I will be wearing fishnets and knee-high boots and the shortest skirt I can get away with, and undoubtedly something shiny or glittery or otherwise appropriate. After all, to quote my darling friend Shiz, "I"ve never had to decide what to wear to a Dolls show before!"
This is also undoubtedly the biggest concert ticket bargain within recent memory - $20 for this lineup:
Performers: Iggy Pop and the Stooges, The New York Dolls, The Romantics, The Ravonettes, The Pretty Things, Moonie Suzuki, The Electric Prunes, The Fonda's, Bo Diddley, The Cynics, The Chains, The Troggs, The Singles, The Stems, The Woggles, The Chesterfield Kings, The Paybacks, Boss Martians, The Chains, The Forty-Fives, Reigning Sound, The Shazam, The Cocktail Slippers, The Killer Barbies, The Star Spangles, The Charms, The Fuzztones
It will be funny, in a sad way, when this sells more tickets than Lollapalooza.
Final thought: I have never seen so many "The" bands on one bill in my life
Final thought #2: I love seeing Bo Diddley on that roster
Final thought #3: Surely it is a sign of the apocalypse when you can search for New York Dolls on *Ticketmaster*
Final thought #4: WTF are the DTK/MC5? Don't they belong on this bill??
I was pretty sure this was going to turn out to be an urban legend until I went to the Lolla web site and read the press release:
Even with what has been touted as the best line-up since its inception in 1991, with such eclectic and respected artists as Morrissey, Sonic Youth, PJ Harvey, and The Flaming Lips, among others, and the most competitive ticket prices in the marketplace for a tour this size, it was not enough to counter the weak economic state of this years summer touring season. Therefore, it is with the utmost regret that due to poor ticket sales across the board, the Lollapalooza, 2004 tour has been cancelled.
Okay, let me read between the lines for you:
"Even with what has been touted as the best line-up since its inception in 1991"
Are you smoking crack? What about '96? Devo, the Ramones, Soundgarden, the MELVINS?
"with such eclectic and respected artists as Morrissey, Sonic Youth, PJ Harvey, and The Flaming Lips, among others"
...SPLIT BETWEEN TWO DAYS, so I have to spend $100 and take two days off work (unless you are LA or SF or a city they like).
"and the most competitive ticket prices in the marketplace for a tour this size"
You know, no one buying a ticket cares about the size of your tour. We care about value for money. They deliberately split the acts so we'd have to go both days, but there weren't enough bands both days to make it worth it for me.
Also, the bands I *really* cared about - like the Datsuns - do I want to spend $100 to see them at Randall's fucking Island and the inherent hassle and mud and weather and heat, or do I want to wait until they come back and do their own headlining tour? Do I want to see them performing at, like, 2pm, while I alternately squint or hold my hand over my eyes to dodge the sun, watching a band that does not want to be awake at that hour performing to a bunch of people who don't want to be awake at that hour? Do I want to try to enjoy a band I like while some emo kid stands next to me scarfing a slice of pizza while they wait for Morrissey's set? Do I want to watch Morrissey on a huge-ass festival stage, behind a crash barrier, from miles away? Do I want to sit through every single band that day just to see Morrissey? (Keep in mind, the only thing I gave a damn about in the Smiths was Johnny Marr and the only thing Morrissey ever had going for him in my opinion was his obsession with the New York Dolls, something we shared as teenagers. But I digress.) Do I want to deal with sub-par sound (even the best soundperson has challenges with outdoor sound, come on) and sub-par conditions?
(You realize these are all rhetorical questions, right?)
Marc Geiger, co-founder of the tour stated, "I am in utter disbelief that a concert of this stature, with the most exciting line-up I've seen in years did not galvanize ticket sales. I'm surprised that given the great bands and the reduced ticket prices that we didn't have enough sales to sustain the tour. Concert promoters across the country are facing similar problems. Many summer tours are experiencing weak ticket sales."
I am in utter disbelief myself that you thought we would pay you $100+ and have to take two days off work to see a handful of bands better experienced indoors, at night, in a rock club, with a beer in my hand. I am in utter disbelief that it didn't occur to anyone why the original Lollapalooza was so successful: it was because IT WAS THE FIRST TIME ANYONE PUT THOSE KINDS OF BANDS TOGETHER IN A LINEUP! Guys, it's not 1992 any more! Heck, some of the bands on the lineup are almost mainstream.
The two-days-off-work-thing is a concept that these promoters don't seem to understand. The audience has to put together ticket price, service charges, parking and/or transportation of some sort (in New York, the hell of getting to and from Randall's fucking Island without [or even with] a motor vehicle is part of what earned it its middle name), overpriced food, poor conditions, portapotties... and THEN we have to either take vacation days or days unpaid or find someone to cover shifts or who knows what rigamarole (if you can even manage to get the time off in the summer). And do even you want to spend two precious days off to go to Lollapalooza?
I had completely planned on going. Going to see the Pixies. Psyched. Then I went to the site and got the rundown on how the shows were broken out. I wasn't giving them two days. I wasn't going day two JUST to see the Pixies (since I didn't care about anyone on that lineup and in fact run screaming from the Polyphonic Spree). I wasn't going day one to see SY and the rest of the bands on the lineup, all very fine pop combos, don't get me wrong, but all of whom, without exception, are better experienced somewhere I don't have to worry about sunscreen.
I do not feel bad for the promoters. I do not feel bad for the organizers. I do not feel bad for the venues. I don't even really feel bad for the bands, most of them can put something together, even the second stage bands can do better than this. I *do* feel bad for the roadies and other behind-the-scenes crew who are effectively out of work for the summer. But that's it.
Now, maybe I can see the Pixies and the Datsuns in a halfway decent venue this summer. And maybe concert promoters will have a learned a lesson or two about myopia and greed and ego.
Finally, Lollapalooza is dead. Thank god. Maybe this will be a harbinger of the death of crowd surfing and "moshing" too?
I got over my (self)righteous indigation over artists appearing in Gap ads and selling their songs to commercials a lot earlier than most people; probably helped that my goddamn favorite band (the Who) gave it all away lock, stock and barrel. Maybe I just don't have the energy to get upset about it any more, too.
The utter absurdity of using "Lust For Life" (and conveniently editing out the first verse) for cruise ships is already passe. I guess they thought, no one is really going to notice, right? It was bizarre but no big deal.
However, last night, we have finally entered into the "What were they thinking?" zone, because I swear to god I heard "Golden Brown" by the Stranglers featured in a commercial for Ore-Ida potatoes.
If someone is hip enough to know that this song exists - it wasn't exactly a Top of the Pops hit, you know? - then there is no way in hell that they don't know what this song is about. And in case you don't know, it's a lovely little ode to HEROIN!
Golden brown texture like sun
Lays me down, with my mind she runs
Throughout the night, no need to fight
Never a frown with golden brown...
I don't begrudge the Stranglers some coin, not at all. But I will berate the utter and complete stupidity of whatever ad agency put this one together. "Lust For Life," okay, they edit out the 'offensive' verses. But "Golden Brown" - THIS ENTIRE SONG IS ABOUT HOW GREAT HEROIN IS! There is no alternate interpretation!
Surely somebody else is going to notice, right?
Surely there will be a big brouhaha?
Surely some ad exec idiot will lose their head over this?
Nah, probably not.
And this is why it doesn't matter what song ever gets used for a commercial. Because the commercials have nothing to do with the actual meaning of the song, or what I hold dear in the music. To the squares, it is, and will always be, nothing more than background music.
KNDD - "Seattle's Original Alternative" - while driving to work this morning:
Idiot DJ: "And that was 'From The Five Boroughs' from the Beastie Boys - you know, there's going to be a special edition when this one sells out, it's going to be called 'From The Six Boroughs' and the sixth borough will be Tacoma."
Me: "OH MY FUCKING GOD! YOU FUCKING WISH TACOMA WAS A CITY, MUCH LESS A BOROUGH! AND DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FUCK A BOROUGH IS, YOU MORON!"
I felt much better.
For the record, I don't know whether I should buy this Beasties record or not. Thought they were cool on Letterman but didn't really see a lot of evolution in the sound. I dig the single, though, and grabbed it on iTunes this morning (along with "Hey Ya" by the Supersuckers, which I listened to six times in a row, along with some Social D and a track from Eddie Spaghetti's solo album, The Sauce[his cover of the Alabama Three's "Peace In The Valley"]). Back to the Beasties - anyone who samples "Sonic Reducer" is all right with me (well, as long as your last name isn't Lavinge or Durst).
You can send cards and other letters to Johnny in care of Arturo Vega (legenary Ramones majordomo) at:
RAMONES 1-2-3-4
6 EAST 2ND STREET
NEW YORK, NY. 10003
Arturo is apparently in LA but is having someone pick up mail and forward it on. (This according to reliable sources.)
There are conflicting reports as to the state of Johnny's health, and now MTV.com has his wife stating that everything is fine. I hope she is right.
To quote someone on one of the Ramones message boards, "what kinda world do we live in where we're on the cusp of losing our 3rd Ramone in 4 years yet every f'in' member of Motley Crue is alive and still recording 'music'?"
According to CyberVixen Holly over at Little Steven's web site, there is no updated information yet about the Underground Garage Festival at Randall's Island (even though Stevie mentioned it when he guested on Bob Lefsetz' radio show - that particular article isn't online yet, however). However, she claims that there will be an announcement made on this Sunday's Underground Garage radio show. I promise to listen myself and post the details for everyone who keeps hitting this site due to Google searches on the subject.
*~*~*~*
Everyone else landing here searching on "Supersuckers" and "Hey Ya" will be delighted to learn that the 'Suckers have made their cover of "Hey Ya" available for download on iTunes. So go pay the $.99, this is a band that honestly needs your dollar.
Way to go, Bruce: About time.
Methinks it's gonna be the year of the feisty, pissed off rockers. And I like it.
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Have you seen Ray Charles' new piano yet?
...Neither has he.
[With apologies to Buster Poindexter and whatever Borsht Belt comedian he stole that one from.]
R.I.P, Ray.
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So Little Steven has the utterly fabulous Underground Garage radio show, and this was augmented by a tour, featuring the Romantics (okay, go figure, but at least his heart was in the right place).
Last month the rumor mill informed me that he was planning an Underground Garage festival for NYC (Randall's fucking Island, I hate that place) for end of July. Whispers of the Dolls and the Stooges. I even got a well-connected friend to promise to try to suggest the DTK-MC5 lineup (as ambivalent as I might be about it, they Belong).
Stevie announced the date as August 14 when he was on Leno two weeks ago, and the details are on the Underground Garage site linked above (click on the calendar - no way to easily link it since it's a pop-up). Here is the band listing:
With Iggy and the Stooges, the New York Dolls, the Raveonettes, the Romantics, the Chesterfield Kings, Boss Martians, the Fuzztones, the Cocktail Slippers, the Woggles, the Singles, Richard and the Young Lions, the Cynics and the Charms!!!!
My friend Shirley is already fretting about what to wear.
Me: "Randall's Island is not exactly conducive to fashion."
Her: "But I've never had to decide what to wear to a Dolls show before!"
Now, that is exactly the right spirit. Time to dig out my fishnets. See you there.
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I have never seen so many people hate an album before it's released as the general feeling about the new Wilco record. Now, I have it here - somewhere! - got the leak from somewhere in the food chain - but things have been a little frantic lately, and at this point, it's going to likely be an iTunes purchase anyway.
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Recent purchases:
Back In Spades - it's fantastic, and I would love it if I'd just stumbled onto it randomly
Sleepy Jackson - jury still out
The Walkmen - see above
Rockpile - reissue. God I love this record.
What I didn't buy is more interesting: Dylan from Carnegie Hall. I'd planned on buying it, I had it in my hands, it was on my list of things to buy... and then I thought about it and felt like I had too much live Dylan recently. If it had been electric Dylan I probably would've bought it in a heartbeat. I know, historical. I know, legendary. I know all of these things. Honestly, I swear. But it just isn't what I'm looking for right now.
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Coming soon: an interview with Rontrose Heathman of the Supersuckers regarding - you guessed it - "Hey Ya." I get more queries hitting this site for that combo than anything else these days (except the stalker fucks who keep Googling Springsteen's son - my site comes up because I mention his name in a history somewhere else on this site. People never cease to amaze me.)